It's now or never

three years
many things have happened
broken vertebre
sledding with nephews
broken ankle
tennis with niece
pancreatis flareup
yet again

same jobs
same house
same weight
same diet
same same same
always always always

I still think about that kid
with the husky britches
how he wanted more
wanted to be someone
craved frame
demanded fortune
knew it was going to happen
only if

now, 32 years
14 as adult
nearly half a life
spent waiting and waiting
for another life to begin
one that is different
alive, vibrant, and strong

I think back to that boy
how he felt very little
vibrance, strength, or life
but his experience is the key
his lessons are the hope
his life is THE story

I have to tell his story
it is time
no more secrets
no more lies
no more embarassment
just life
as a boy
with bare feet
and husky britches

Husky Britches forever

last night
lights went down
small pizza
thin crust
cheese, onions
oh so good

shadowbox
funny show
great music
good friends
third wheel
always about the food

second binge
since June 6th
like a drug
can't shake it
no hiding
appetite returning

new me failing
old me reappearing
desperate
finding solice
in the familiar
becomes crutch

remembering kid
how he hated
husky britches
wanted out
vicious cycle
never made it

15 pounds shed
it may last
even so
will always feel
like kid
with husky britches